Elijah's Birth Story

So this post is quite different from what I normally write about, but I just wanted to share Elijah's birth story. I wrote this out just for myself/Elijah some day so I could remember everything that happened and I thought I would share it for those of you who are interested in birth details. I really felt called to do have this birth for God's glory in a country that is almost not at all interested at all in His design (you'll understand in a minute). I thank God for being faithful to give me the strength to do what he called me to do. I'm not sharing the story to say this is the way it HAS to be or that others are wrong for choosing medication or having a medically necessary c-section. I truly believe God has a different story for everyone, but this is just His story for me that I thought I would share. I hope you enjoy....but be warned, it is rather long and has lots of details. Read only if you're ok with birth details!

Where do I even begin telling this story? It starts far before Elijah was ever even inside me. Since I arrived here in Brazil, I was shocked to find that there is an 85% c-section rate. Here, this is not just a number, but a reality. I hardly know anyone who has had a normal birth. This is either due to the woman actually choosing a c-section from the moment she discovers she is pregnant (even on the first baby!) or the doctor coming up with a reason it is necessary…most of which are ridiculously bogus! I can count on one hand the number of Brazilian women I know who have had a vaginal birth. Honestly. We also know of one doctor in our city who has a 94% c-section rate and personally know others who will ONLY do c-sections. And the crazy part is no one seems to think this is crazy! One generation passes on to the next that modern woman cannot do this…it is only for indigenous women anymore. Doctors purposefully intimidate their patients with haunting stories of pain rather than encourage them towards the safest and most natural option of birth. The system is a corrupt mess.

Prior to this I had never been passionate about natural (or even vaginal) birth. I had always just assumed I would have at least a vaginal birth unless there was a true medical emergency. But it wasn’t something I thought much about…just an assumption in my life. When I woke up to the reality here, even before I got pregnant, I started to become passionate about the subject. The more I read, the more I realized that God had planned out every single detail of a vaginal birth and that c-section rates should be much, much lower than they are here. They should be for rare, true emergencies. I was impressed how God designed even crowning to cut off circulation/feeling for the moment the baby arrives…incredible! I also started to realize just how much lack of knowledge about how the process works leads to fear. Then, from what I read, fear leads to tension, which leads to more pain – making the situation worse. I truly began to know and believe that God designed me to be able to do this, just like every other natural body function He gave me that I don’t question. Throughout this whole discovery process, Jeyson was incredibly supportive and the more sold-out I became, the more sold-out he became. We truly grew together.

So, when I found out in Feb 2011 that I was pregnant, one of the first people we told was a friend who has had 4 vaginal births (3 natural, home-births) and is a doula. She kept giving me resources to dig into…books, videos, articles and later we officially asked her to be our doula for the birth. Just a few months into the pregnancy I can truly say I felt God calling me to a natural birth to glorify Him through showing His design for women. This scared me a bit because I believed He was calling me not only to a vaginal birth, but an unmediated, totally natural birth. Could I really do this? Could I put my money where my mouth was? Was this all head knowledge, or did I truly believe God thought of everything and could give me this strength to birth without medication?

We did feel like we should give birth in a hospital and worked with an incredible Christian doctor throughout the pregnancy. Dr. Luis Carlos is Brazilian, but has family in the States and understands us foreigners well. He is also passionate about natural birth and is willing to stand against the pressure of the other doctors in Brazil who are not just FOR c-sections, but AGAINST natural births.

Dr. Luis Carlos was a complete blessing at each appointment, often spending 45 minutes or more chatting with us. He had previously done a home water birth for our doula, Michawn, and was fine with her coming along and coaching us for the birth. At 7 months, Jeyson and I began meeting together with Michawn weekly for classes to learn the Bradley Method of childbirth. I did lots of exercises, worked on eating well, and trained how to relax both the body and mind. By the end of the course, I felt as ready as you could be….practiced and most importantly, armed with information and trust in the Lord.

Although I felt ready, I truly was afraid something would happen and I would not be able to have a normal birth. It was so hard to trust when every day (literally) women around me would tell me their birth story and why they could not do what I believed God calling me to do. People would always assume I was planning a c-section (like everyone else) and when I said no, they would ask “So you’re going to TRY a natural birth”. In faith, I would say that I believed God was going to allow me to HAVE one, not just TRY.

Fast forward to the actual birth.

November 15th (Tuesday) was a holiday here in Brazil. Jeyson and I enjoyed the day working on projects around the house. Looking back, Jeyson was super nesty. He got up early and fixed the car, got motorcycle parts, cleaned/washed the garage, finished projects for the nursery, removed and repaired our toilet, and even set up our Christmas tree! I put together a few meals for when the baby was going to arrive, but truly didn’t believe he would come before his due date (Nov 19th). In fact, I kept a count down to the due date counting from 42 weeks (Dec 3rd) instead of the real due date because I didn’t want to be discouraged if he arrived late. In the evening we had friends over and I made homemade pizza and we watched movies. It was very relaxing and I truly did not think anything was going to happen for at least 7-10 days. We didn’t even have a bag packed for Jeyson.

November 16th I woke up at 2:30am to use the bathroom. I laid back in bed and thought I had had a little accident because I felt wet. I went back to the bathroom and realized a tiny bit of fluid had come out. I knew I could have a small leak and go on for days without actually going into labor, so I told Jeyson and laid back in bed to go back to sleep. I didn’t think anything would start that night. About 15 minutes later I felt another small gush of liquid, more than the first time, but still not a ton. I told Jeyson I thought was losing part of the water, but I felt no contractions so again we went back to sleep, this time with plastic and a towel under me…just in case. I knew it was common to have your water break and for birth to only begin with 24 hours so I figured I should get sleep. I thought I would call the doctor in the morning and see if we should come in earlier than our 1:30 appointment that day or just come in at the normal time. In my head, I thought we’d get there at 1:30 and still not have labor underway.

When I laid back down, I couldn’t sleep because I was getting excited. I was so happy to think that labor was going to be coming somewhat soon. It was still early in Arizona so I thought I’d call my mom just for some company and to share the news. Throughout the 20 minutes or so talking to her nothing happened labor-wise so again I thought it would take a while. However, when I stood up, from the computer, I had a much bigger leak. My water had definitely broken at that point…but still no cramps so again we laid down to rest up thinking labor would be hours away. (We had already planned with the doctor call him once I actually felt consistent contractions and to leave for the hospital when they were 3-4 minutes apart. This helps make the labor smoother because it doesn’t stall from the excitement of the car ride and avoids going to the hospital with a false alarm).

Around 4:00 am the contractions finally started. They were quite easy at first and I took a shower and then laid on my bed in the Bradley position to relax. Jeyson also was laying down trying to get some rest. At about 4:30 they began to pick up intensity and we decided to call Michawn. We caught her up on the details and said we would call when the contractions were intense enough to need her support get though them. Around this point I found (through trail and error) that the most comfortable position was sitting on the toilet. This way I could rock back and forth easily and I didn’t need to keep getting up and down to use the bathroom. So, even though I didn’t need to use the bathroom, I just stayed sitting and relaxing on the toilet, rocking and vocalizing moans to get through them.

I started to ask Jeyson to time the contractions, thinking they would still be about 10 minutes apart. However, we quickly realized they were only about 3 minutes apart. I was so surprised! I was worried that I might be tensing up, causing them to come closer together and stronger, so I worked even harder to relax. Jeyson worked on getting things ready to leave…bags packed, pets fed, etc. I found it quite easy to talk in between the contractions and I was only serious during the actual contraction itself.

Around 5:00 I felt like I could use Michawn’s direction and presence also, so Jeyson called her and asked her to come over. (Later she told us that she was so excited that she couldn’t go back to sleep after the first call anyway. J ) She arrived around 5:30 and she stayed with me helping me relax through the contractions and timing them for me. I was surprised to find that they were lasting about 45 seconds and were only about 2 minutes apart. I started to really need all of my concentration to relax and make it through each one. Since I thought I might still be only about 3 cm I worried that I would never be able to survive the really tough contractions when I got a bit more dilated. (Later we realized I was probably already a 5-6…these already were the tough contractions and I didn’t even know it!) I threw up a little and we decided to get on the road to avoid traffic, although I definitely would have waited longer at home otherwise. Jeyson called the doctor to tell him today would be the day.

We got in the car for the 1 hr 15 minute drive. As we drove off, Michawn prayed for us. Looking back, the drive felt fast – I just focused on one contraction at a time. Now I was MUCH more uncomfortable than I had been at home, but I thought this was just because I was in the car. Later we realized I went through transition in the car (7 cm and more). Again, between contractions I felt perfectly fine and could talk, but during them I needed to hold Michawn’s hand and moan in a low tone. They lasted about 1 minute each and I had about 1 minute in between (though it’s hard to remember the exact details). The worst part was the speed bumps. Each one would set off a VERY intense contraction, some lasting 2 ½ minutes! Jeyson drove carefully and calmly, but there was no way to avoid the bumps. It was only really during those contractions caused by bumps that I felt I lost control, all of the rest I could focus inwardly and make it through. It was definitely do-able, but being in the car was far from ideal at this point. If I had been at home or in the hospital, I really don’t think it would have been too hard with all of the techniques and support.

At a certain point, Jeyson made a comment that he had taken the wrong turn. I assumed he had gone back and gotten us on track. After 10 minutes or so of focusing on contractions, I asked him if we were still lost. Just at that moment he found a familiar landmark at last and pointed it out to me, never letting on that he had been really lost and almost stopped the car to look at the map! I have a great, calm husband and I’m thankful for his pilot’s sense of direction!

About 5 minutes from the hospital, I started to feel like the baby was really low and started to feel pushy. I assumed this was just in my head, since I was probably only 4 cm or so. I remember thinking, that if I discovered I was 5 cm it would be a HUGE victory! I also started to feel a bit lightheaded at this point, but thought it was just from not drinking water in the car (this is actually common during the transition stage).

When we arrived at the hospital, Jeyson went in and asked for a wheelchair because I knew I couldn’t walk all the way to the room. I thought I was being a wimp, because again I thought I was still early on. I got in the wheelchair and boy do they need to fix the rough brick walkway and tile floor with a million bumps! Not great for laboring women! I told the man to push me really fast between contractions and we arrived in the room. Michawn came in with me, which was great because Jeyson had to go park the car and took a while. It was awesome to have her support or I would have been completely abandoned with strangers!

Later we found out that Jeyson went to start the engine, but couldn’t because the battery had died. He got help push starting the car from another guy on the street and then looked for a parking spot on the street (no parking lot!). There was a police car on a downhill taking up two spots. Jeyson explained that his wife was in labor and his car needed a hill to start again. He asked if he could have one of the spots and the police officer responded by saying that he could fine Jeyson for having a car in disrepair! Crazy!!!

Back in the room, I was sitting on the toilet working through contractions like I had done at home. Dr. Luis Carlos arrived and checked my dilation right there. To all of our shock, he said I was almost 9 cm!!! I was in disbelief! I guess I hadn’t been exaggerating, I had actually been coping really well! I was so thankful for the preparation I had done. Someone ran to get Jeyson who was filling out paperwork…it was almost time! After another few contractions I was complete, and Jeyson and the doctor moved me to a birthing stool in our room. There wasn’t even time to fill up the birthing pool, as we had planned on a water birth. The doctor sat crossed-legged in front of the stool and Jeyson sat on a chair behind me with me in between his legs. Michawn moved all around helping, encouraging, massaging, bringing water, and reminding me of everything we had studied.

Between 10cm and pushing, I felt nothing. I had a little time to breathe and relax. The change of sensations of dilation to pushing was night and day. It was much easier at first. I had a long break in between each push (I only pushed when I felt the urge) and I could actually DO something. It didn’t hurt (except for crowning later) but I grunted to give me more power. After about 45 minutes of pushing, I began to crown, which was really the only really rough part of the day. It only lasted about 10 minutes and was only during contractions, but WOW! I thought I had torn in two. It was hard to trust the doctor who said I hadn’t! When the head started to come out a little at a time, the doctor encouraged me to look in a mirror to see it and to touch it to give me motivation to go on. It really helped!

I leaned back on Jeyson and he was told to push down on the top of the uterus to help the baby move down and out. In a crazy way, it was romantic…Jeyson, me, and our new son working together to bring him into the world. Also, I will never forget Jeyson’s encouraging words and I love you’s he whispered in my ear. When things got overwhelming, I called out to God for strength out loud and He was near. Between pushing urges, I was really relaxed. I remember even telling a few dumb jokes and the atmosphere was so light and friendly and encouraging. During the contractions everyone guided and supported me. I felt so cared for. There were moments when I felt like the baby would never really get out of me…I would be pregnant forever.

But then at 9:33 am it happened. After a very stingy and intense crowning, his head came out. The doctor paused as soon as it did because the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. Later he commented that he was glad that we didn’t know because people would have tried to make us nervous about it, even though it really wasn’t a real risk. He just carefully unwrapped it. I gave one more push and out came the body…and the pain was gone instantly!

The doctor gave me the baby, still attached to the placenta inside of me. He went right up onto my chest and I couldn’t stop exclaiming “I can’t believe it!” “He’s beautiful!” “Happy birthday!” “Welcome to the family!” “We love you!” etc. Covered in “cheese” and blood and all, holding him directly and instantly in my arms was the most beautiful thing I have ever done. I cannot even imagine having had him taken from me to be cleaned and later given to me. I would have lost the most incredible moment I have ever had. He opened his eyes almost instantly and looked right at me and Jeyson. He was so alert! It was overwhelming and I ran on the endorphins and adrenaline rush for days.

It was just such an incredible feeling to have pushed your son out of your body – to go through every moment of work and pain and in the end bring a new life into the world. Instantly every pain was over and I felt like I could climb a mountain or lift a car. I never felt so female and so powerful at the same time. It was indescribable.

Elijah’s birth did involve moments of very strong pain (especially at crowning) but the sense of
achievement was 500 times stronger than any pain I felt, and throughout it all I felt completely in control. To have done it 100% the way God designed, to have done it without an iv, monitor, drugs, or any intervention (other than the dr listening to the heartbeat), to have done it with my husband’s arms wrapped around me from behind, to have done it with the support of a believing doctor and doula…there are literally no words to express the most beautiful and deepest sense of awe and satisfaction of it all. In the end it was the most incredible, spiritual experience a woman can ever choose to face.

After waiting for the cord to stop pulsing, I moved to the bed to hold and nurse Elijah while we waiting for the placenta to detach. It took about an hour, but even before it came out, I instantly felt great…seriously almost 100% normal! I needed 2 stitches which wasn’t a big deal, thanks to being allowed to only push when I felt the urge. Although crowning had been painful, I was able to control my force and tore very little. The 10 minutes or so of crowning saved me much more pain later as recovery. The placenta came out with a small pull which caused one more contraction, and it was all over.

After about 1 ½ hours, Jeyson carried Elijah to the nursery to be weighed and measured. 3.35 kg (7 lb 5 oz) and 50 cm (19 in). Be brought him back about 5 minutes later. Everything else for him was done right in the room, in my arms. The first moment we were alone with Elijah, Jeyson prayed thanking God for him and the blessing of a wonderful birth and healthy son.

We chose to give Elijah a bath in our room ourselves. It was a wonderful start for him to never be taken away from his parents and it was so fun to clean him all up and be the firsts to get a good look at him. Jeyson’s parents and sister and nephew came to visit in the late afternoon. Elijah slept with us the in our hospital room, in between our beds. The next morning we left the hospital feeling GREAT! We were a bit tired from not sleeping well for 2 nights in a row, but we were so ready to bring our little son to our home. It was the best feeling in the world.